Archive for the Bootlegs / Free Downloads Category

Adopted As Holograph / Mutant Music 21/08/09

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Mutant Music on August 28, 2009 by SMW

adoptedasholograph

Image by Stewart Swan

Friday 21/08/09 was the final Mutant Music at The Flying Duck. The fantastic Adopted As Holograph filled in at the last minute for Jacob Yates And The Pearly Gate Lock Pickers who were unable to perform. Here they are with a wee word and an exclusive download from their Kitchen Bar set at Mutant Music.

“Our first time in the kitchen was a pleasure. Hot tunes, a warm atmosphere and plenty of cold, cold beer.

This is a wee ditty ’bout a soldier who decided to become a woman – true story!

Sex Change Soldier (live at Mutant Music) (mp3)

Thanks to Splendid Dead Collective for having us!”

Adopted As Holograph

You can catch Adopted As Holograph at Brel, Glasgow on 24/09/09 and at The Captain’s Rest, Glasgow on 16/09/09.

www.myspace.com/adoptedasholograph

The Paraffins: Mutant Music Session

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Mutant Music on August 20, 2009 by SMW

If you missed The Paraffins when they played at Mutant Music last month, never fear because Billy Paraffin has recorded a special Mutant Music session exclusively for splendiddead.com.

Paraffins 1The four tracks were “All first takes, quickly taped on an ancient 8-track cassette machine. Recorded in a rusty, corrugated iron shed in darkest Ayrshire one sweaty afternoon in July 2009 for Mutant Music.”

Paraffins 2

Life’s Too Beautiful (mp3)

Fascination (mp3)

People Like You (mp3)

No One Can Stop The Magic Runner (mp3)

Paraffins 3If you’re in Berlin then you can catch The Paraffins there, at Madame Claude, on 29/08/09. Meanwhile, the final ever Mutant Music at The Flying Duck, Glasgow takes place Friday 21/08/09, doors at 8pm.

www.myspace.com/theparaffins

Chris Devotion / Mutant Music 17/07/09

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Mutant Music, The Elvis Suicide on August 4, 2009 by SMW
Hello there, how are you? Oh well, I am sure it will clear up.  Anyway here is the set I played at the penultimate Mutant Music at The Flying Duck.
I hardly ever do acoustic gigs, mostly I spend my time owning stages with my rock and roll band The Elvis Suicide.  However, now and again duty calls (like my set at the Springsteen night for Splendid Dead) and when duty calls, Devotion answers. Or lets it go to voicemail, it all depends how I’m feeling.
Whenever I pull out old glory (that’s my acoustic guitar, not my penis, I call him “The Captain”) it’s usually because I feel inspired by the greats of country music (Williams, Cash, Cyrus).
Of course, when I wrote down the set list for this gig I realised that the above routine leads to a wrist-slashing smorgasbord of misery-guts songs, with a subject matter that ranges from death, woman troubles, getting stuck talking to annoying cunts at parties, woman troubles, economic woes, woman troubles and the process of writing songs (about woman troubles).
Basically the stuff that all the best songs are written about.
Enjoy.
When I’m Gone
Center Of Attention
Broken Man
This Must Be A Dream
Let Down
I Aint Got No Home
That Look In Your Eye
(Please) Dont Go!
Everybody Knows That I Like A Good Time
Song For A Girl
Going Back To Loneliness
You Shouldn’t Be With Him, You Should Be With Me
Don’t Worry Honey, We Can Still Be Friends
Slippin’ And Slidin’
Chris Devotion sings words and plays music in The Elvis Suicide, the finest Rock and Roll Band in the known universe.
www.myspace.com/theelvissuicide
Chri

Elvissuicide

Chris Devotion of The Elvis Suicide played at Mutant Music @ The Flying Duck on Friday 17/07/09. We taped his set and blackmailed him into writing this for us:

Hello there, how are you? Oh well, I am sure it will clear up.  Anyway here is the set I played at the penultimate Mutant Music at The Flying Duck.

I hardly ever do acoustic gigs, mostly I spend my time owning stages with my rock and roll band The Elvis Suicide.  However, now and again duty calls (like my set at the Springsteen night for Splendid Dead) and when duty calls, Devotion answers. Or lets it go to voicemail, it all depends how I’m feeling.

Whenever I pull out old glory (that’s my acoustic guitar, not my penis, I call him “The Captain”) it’s usually because I feel inspired by the greats of country music (Williams, Cash, Cyrus).

Of course, when I wrote down the set list for this gig I realised that the above routine leads to a wrist-slashing smorgasbord of misery-guts songs, with a subject matter that ranges from death, woman troubles, getting stuck talking to annoying cunts at parties, woman troubles, economic woes, woman troubles and the process of writing songs (about woman troubles).

Basically the stuff that all the best songs are written about.

Enjoy.

When I’m Gone (mp3)

Center Of Attention (mp3)

Broken Man (mp3)

This Must Be A Dream (mp3)

Let Down (mp3)

I Ain’t Got No Home (mp3)

That Look In Your Eye (mp3)

(Please) Don’t Go! (mp3)

Everybody Knows That I Like A Good A Time (mp3)

Song For A Girl (mp3)

Going Back To Loneliness (mp3)

You Shouldn’t Be With Him, You Should Be With Me (mp3)

Don’t Worry Honey, We Can Still Be Friends (mp3)

Slippin’ And Slidin’ (mp3)

Chris Devotion sings words and plays music in The Elvis Suicide, the finest Rock and Roll Band in the known universe. You can see him solo at Dirty Martinis, Kilmarnock on 08/08/09 and with The Elvis Suicide at The Captain’s Rest, Glasgow on 20/08/09 and at Sneaky Pete’s, Edinburgh on 21/08/09.

www.myspace.com/theelvissuicide

Gash Import “Geordie Menopause” single

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Gash Import, Messrs on August 2, 2009 by SMW

SingleArt

http://www.mediafire.com/?lc210admvir

Copy and paste the above URL to download our single!

Gash Import are preparing for their final show (at Blood Club @ The Flying Duck, Glasgow, 02/09/09). Messrs are responsible for the Energy Gash remix. You can also grab Gash Import’s remix of Messrs’ I’m On Fire, right here:

Messy Gash Daddy Fire (mp3)

www.myspace.com/gashimport
www.myspace.com/messrs

www.myspace.com/gashimport
www.myspace.com/messrs

Dirty Does The Boss

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Messrs on July 31, 2009 by SMW
I am sitting at the very back of Hampden Park, site of some of the greatest and some of the worst moments in my short life. And Bon Jovi concerts. Lots of them. Anyways, so I’m in row Q at the arse end of the stadium watching a slew of ants dancing around a stage very…very….slowly and they appear to be playing Bruce Springsteen songs. They start off with Badlands which sounds a zillion times better live than on record cos Ant-Bruce doesn’t sing like he’s had a surprise anal intrusion.So, yeah the ants sound pretty good – even if the sound reverberates of the stadium walls creating a weird echo sound that makes some songs almost unrecognisable (as opposed to the songs which were unrecognisable due to me not knowing them, of which there were a few)
So the ants…actually, I’m giving up on this “ants” thing, it’s prbably not that funny and I’ve got my point across – I was far away and stadiums suck. The set list was gargantuan, 3 bloody hours he played and he didn’t even do Glory Days. or I’m on Fire. Or Streets of Philadelphia. or Secret Garden. Or No Surrender (ok maybe not the best song to play in Glasgow but still) Instead we got Outlaw fucking Pete, one of the shiteous tracks on the new record but at least he didnt play that one about the supermarket woman, I’d have stormed out then and there £65 ticket or no £65 ticket. Speaking of which, the cheapest t-shirt was £22 – Bruce, buddy, you’re “the Boss” champion of the working man and we have to shell out ludicrous amounts for crappy merch with your face on it? £15 for a cd I can get for £7 in Tesco? Poor show sir, poor show.
Dancing in the Dark was amazing, Atlantic City was majestic and The River was possibly the best thing that ever happened in Hampden, even better than when we beat the French. However, palying a cover of Twist & Shout at the end might have made the drunk middle aged women all over the place happy but it was atrocious, cheesy and not what i expect a Bruce frickin’ Springsteen concert to finish on. In fact, most people were convinced it wasn’t the end – I must have heard a thousand people say “he didnae play Born in The USA, that’s pish” as I left the stadium surrounded by drunk baby boomers, curious teenagers and indifferent musos. Of course, he never plays that but this wasn’t a show for hardcore E Street fans, but for everyone who stopped listening in the 80s and those who thought it was cool to go.
I must also briefly say that, while it was cool to hear the crowd cheer every time Clarence played a note on sax there was hardly any love for Nils Lofgren who was afr and away the best musician on display that night. I kinda wanted him to take centre stage and play Secrets in the Street (if you havent heard it please do yourself a favour and check it out it’s got everything you’d ever want in a song) but he didn’t. Little Stevie didnt get the crowd adulation I was expecting. guess no one in Glasgow remembers the Sopranos. I still love you Silvio.
It’s great to say i’ve seen him but, to be honest, I actually enjoyed watching him on a big screen in my house more than watching him on a screen in a stadium full of twats. The sound was better and the beer was cheaper.
Meh. I’m done.MDre

Dirty Panic

Messrs frontman Dirty Mac attended Bruce Springsteen’s recent Hampden concert and also played Splendid Dead’s Springsteen tribute night, so who better to post a review two weeks too late alongside another track from Messrs’s soon to be released BOSS-ANOVA EP? Here they are:

Streets Of Philadelphia (mp3)

I am sitting at the very back of Hampden Park, site of some of the greatest and some of the worst moments in my short life. And Bon Jovi concerts. Lots of them. Anyways, so I’m in row Q at the arse end of the stadium watching a slew of ants dancing around a stage very…very….slowly and they appear to be playing Bruce Springsteen songs. They start off with Badlands which sounds a zillion times better live than on record cos Ant-Bruce doesn’t sing like he’s had a surprise anal intrusion.So, yeah the ants sound pretty good – even if the sound reverberates of the stadium walls creating a weird echo sound that makes some songs almost unrecognisable (as opposed to the songs which were unrecognisable due to me not knowing them, of which there were a few)

So the ants…actually, I’m giving up on this “ants” thing, it’s probably not that funny and I’ve got my point across – I was far away and stadiums suck. The set list was gargantuan, 3 bloody hours he played and he didn’t even do Glory Days. or I’m on Fire. Or Streets of Philadelphia. or Secret Garden. Or No Surrender (ok maybe not the best song to play in Glasgow but still) Instead we got Outlaw fucking Pete, one of the shiteous tracks on the new record but at least he didnt play that one about the supermarket woman, I’d have stormed out then and there £65 ticket or no £65 ticket. Speaking of which, the cheapest t-shirt was £22 – Bruce, buddy, you’re “the Boss” champion of the working man and we have to shell out ludicrous amounts for crappy merch with your face on it? £15 for a cd I can get for £7 in Tesco? Poor show sir, poor show.

Dancing in the Dark was amazing, Atlantic City was majestic and The River was possibly the best thing that ever happened in Hampden, even better than when we beat the French. However, playing a cover of Twist & Shout at the end might have made the drunk middle aged women all over the place happy but it was atrocious, cheesy and not what I expect a Bruce frickin’ Springsteen concert to finish on. In fact, most people were convinced it wasn’t the end – I must have heard a thousand people say “he didnae play Born in The USA, that’s pish” as I left the stadium surrounded by drunk baby boomers, curious teenagers and indifferent musos. Of course, he never plays that but this wasn’t a show for hardcore E Street fans, but for everyone who stopped listening in the 80s and those who thought it was cool to go.

I must also briefly say that, while it was cool to hear the crowd cheer every time Clarence played a note on sax there was hardly any love for Nils Lofgren who was far and away the best musician on display that night. I kinda wanted him to take centre stage and play Secrets in the Street (if you havent heard it please do yourself a favour and check it out it’s got everything you’d ever want in a song) but he didn’t. Little Stevie didnt get the crowd adulation I was expecting. Guess no one in Glasgow remembers The Sopranos. I still love you Silvio.

It’s great to say i’ve seen him but, to be honest, I actually enjoyed watching him on a big screen in my house more than watching him on a screen in a stadium full of twats. The sound was better and the beer was cheaper.

Meh. I’m done.

Dirty Mac is the singing half of Messrs. Their BOSS-ANOVA EP is forthcoming in 2009, as are their YKINOK and LIVE DUDITY EPs.

www.myspace.com/messrs

The origins of Gash: Part 2

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Gash Import, Messrs on June 11, 2009 by SMW
Gash Import

Gash Import photographed by Shaun Murawski

Read Part 1: HERE

Later that night after much jubilation at the return of the village’s lost son, Dos Caras lays on the floor of the crude hut he was born in. His mother sits cross legged beside him, cradling his head. In the dim light she can see his body covered in scars. “Tell me son, what has happened to you? Who has done these awful things?”

“On that night 12 years ago I was stolen from you. The bandits rode all day and night with me in a saddle bag. We crossed the desert, the mountains and finally arrived at the ocean.” Outside, fireworks exploded in the sky and the sound punctuated his terrible story.

“One of the bandits wives took me and raised me as her own.” At this his mother bursts into tears.

“When I was five years old the bandits took me with them on another raid, this time into the big city. They wreaked havoc wherever they rode, until they reached a mansion on a hill. They knew the owner must be rich. They waited for night to fall and broke in.”

The celebrations had finished and now the night was deadly still. The mother could hear her sons every breathe under his mask.

“What the bandits found inside shocked them. The house belonged to the famous luchador, Dos Caras. His trophies adorned the walls, gold trophies. They set about looting. As sunrise approached the bandits doubled their efforts and in the rush they woke Dos Caras from his bed. He found them and was merciful in his beating, leaving all alive, barely. They fled, leaving me behind.”

Meanwhile on the edge of the desert, vultures circled overhead, around the full moon, as a vile beast feasted on a herd of goats. In the shadows, what could neither be described as man or animal, stalked quietly passed the beast and headed across the desert.

“Dos Caras took me and trained me as a luchador. He taught me everything he knew. He was like the father I never had. He raised me, but I knew I had to find my true family, my real home.”

“You are home now son.” She cupped his still masked face in her hand. “Let me see your face, let me look at my son.” She moved her hands to untie the laces but he stopped her.

“No mother, this is my face now. Dos Caras taught me the way of the mask, the honour.”

“But you are Dos Caras.”

“And I will be until the day I die, like the Dos Caras before me.”

His mother could not bear to think of her newly returned son’s death.

“Why must you? Why?”

“It is the way. Dos Caras died defending me and I will live to honour his name and mask.”

“How did he die?”

“One night six months ago, we were training when we heard a noise. Someone was in the house. We thought it was the bandits seeking revenge. We were mistaken. It was El Hombre Lobo!”

His mother gasped. Everyone knew the legend of El Hombre Lobo, half man, half wolf, no heart. It was said that he was born in a wolves den at the foot of a volcano. His mother seeing what her child was, fled to the top of the volcano and threw herself in, cursing Satan as she fell. He was nursed by the animals of the surrounding forest and when he was old enough, ventured into the cruel world that rejected him to seek revenge.

“His vengeance that night was directed towards Dos Caras. We tried our best to fight him, but he was too strong for us and I was knocked unconscious in the brawl. When I awoke Dos Caras was lying in his own blood, breathing his last breaths slowly. He unlaced his mask and took it from his head. This is your face now, he said. This is the face that El Hombre Lobo will see before he dies.”

Outside a howl scattered bats from a near by cave and sent chills through the village.

“The wolf! He has found us!”

By Jonathan Snee

Gash Import – Luchador Noise BLAST DUO with A PAST Shrouded In MYSTERY!!! have remixed Messrs’ I’m On Fire. Download it for free:

Messy Gash Daddy Fire (mp3)

www.myspace.com/gashimport
www.myspace.com/jonnysnee
www.myspace.com/messrs

Bossy Mess Y’Self

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Messrs, Mutant Music on May 27, 2009 by SMW
Dirty Dirty I-Mac of Messrs

Dirty Dirty I-Mac of Messrs

Now, we all know that the Boss doesn’t mess around, but to mark the six months, two weeks and three days since our Boss-anova Springsteen tribute night, Dirty Dirty I-Mac (the better half of Messrs) tells his side of the story. Now with free download!

OK, so many months ago Splendid Dead put on Boss-anova! A Tribute to Bruce Springsteen and it was decided, rightly or wrongly, that we should play it. Now, those of you who have seen or heard us before know that our music bears as much resemblance to The Boss as Susan Boyle does to a woman (wow, that reference is gonna date quick). Anyways, me and my co-conspirator [Shriekin' Dub] got together and made a list of our favourite Bruce songs and tried to figure out a way that we could make it work.

We were aiming for Suicide (a little-known Springsteen favourite) but, Messrs by their very nature are always gonna make it a bit sexier so…a sexy suicide, you could call it (hmm…I smell an album title). When we played our set some of it sounded awesome, some of it a little bit bizarre. One thing’s for sure – the crowd hated us.

Many of them were older gentlemen looking for pub bands covering songs they got their first blowjob to – and that’s fine – but it ain’t what Splendid Dead’s all about, daddy. So, after our spoken word version of Secret Garden, most of them left to the safety of the bar and left us and our regular crowd.

But our regular lot were also thrown a curveball as there were no party jams, no shirts-off parties, no sex. If a regular Messrs show is hardcore bloody coitus this was an evening in with a delicate lady, sipping wine before making slow, beautiful love. Our fans do not wish to do this. Ever. So we managed to alienate potential new listeners and our own fans by being completely different to what they wanted or expected. Did I mention we were dressed like priests? Oops.

Still, one positive thing that came out of it is our version of

I’m On Fire (studio version) (mp3)

which everyone seemed to really like. So much so, that it’s now a part of our regular set. I’m personally really proud of it as it marks the first time I’ve sung ‘clean’ on a Messrs song and this may herald a new direction for our stuff.

Dirty Dirty I-Mac

Messrs will be performing at the next Mutant Music at The Flying Duck on Friday 19/06/09 with Call Me Ishmael and special special guests, TBA. www.splendiddead.com/messrs will shortly be full of treats for you too.

www.myspace.com/messrs

Meet Das Filth

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Mutant Music on May 9, 2009 by SMW

Scott and Brooky of Das Filth (www.myspace.com/haekathe)
Scott and Brooky of Das Filth (www.myspace.com/haekathe)

Das Filth played for us at Mutant Music last month and then because we were curious and they are somewhat whorey, they answered some fairly rubbish questions (we’re still aiming somewhere between Smash Hits and The Wire) for us. We also have a bootleg recording of their finale on the night for you to help yourself to:

Pictures In Transit (Live at Mutant Music) (mp3)

Tell us your names and what each of you do in the band:

Brooky – synth

Scott – vocals

Craigy – guitar

Adam – guitar

Gus – drums

Fraser – bass

How do you describe yourself to ignorant strangers?

“Hi we’re Das Filth and we play electro poof-punk grunge. Shag us!”

Pick another name for the German market.

Them Filth.

Who would be your ideal collaborator(s) (living and dead)

Jim Morrison (dead) Nigel Godrich, Radiohead producer (living).

What Glasgow band would Das Filth beat in a straight fight?

Glasvegas. We saw the guy getting chinned outside Sleazys a couple of months back, went down like a back of piss.

Who would you most like to cover/ to cover your songs?

Sister Sledge – Lost in Music. We’d quite like Rammstein to cover us.

Recommend a movie, an album and a book.

Movie – Happiness

Album – Q.O.T.S.A – Songs for the Deaf

Book – George Orwell – Homage to Catalonia

Which one of you would sell the others up the river for a packet of crisps?

Brooky.

Will sweat-headbands eventually replace eyebrows?

We’re working on a solar powered mini-wiper technology but money/time issues have seen the proceedings hit a bit of a rut in recent times. The funding isn’t there for us and personally we feel we’re being pigeonholed by more than one of the parties involved.

Whose mum was documenting the Mutant Music gig for posterity?

Adam’s mum. Although it should be noted here that the footage is merely for continuity reasons. All those long hours spent on choreography are nothing without ongoing review and development, especially where the live product is concerned.

When is Das Filth’s work done?

Das Filth’s work is done when the sun goes to sleep. Only then can we all go back to the villa, jump into the six man tub and just chill out to some serious Coldplay.

There is a zombie apocalypse and you have to choose five items to take into the bunker to rebuild human culture – what do you take?

1. Best Kebab

2. Diablero

3. Magical takeaway

4. Bifteki

5. Condoms. Multipack.

What next for Das Filth?

Just the usual mate, get some more tracks recorded, keep spreading the good word and essentially do everything we can to get our end away.

At the minute, Das Filth are next playing and possibly getting their end away at The Flying Duck, Glasgow on Sunday 28/06/09.


www.myspace.com/dasfilth

The origins of Gash: Part 1 – The boy with two faces.

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, Gash Import on April 25, 2009 by SMW

gash-importMt Echaciona Village Mexico – 1986, a woman cries out in pain as she gives birth for the 13th time, her 12 previous children stand in awe as lightning strikes high above the round hut built of straw and dung. Truly this is an auspicious night.

The next morning as the cockerel crows in the yard all seems peaceful and yet something is not right – a distant rumbling and the high pitched cries of men, swept up in the thrill of banditry. As they approach the tiny village, everyone scatters and heading to safety further up the mountain arming themselves with rocks and sticks. As the bandits draw close the villagers release a volley of missiles causing horses to panic, throwing their riders from their saddles and trampling many in their retreat – unsuspecting of such a vicious attack the bandits head off to regroup and form a new plan.

Returning to her home the mother goes instantly to inspect the safety of her newborn, only to find that he has disappeared. Yelling out a painful wail of angst she falls to her knees, cursing the earth and the sun and the gods that govern it all as her 12 remaining offspring gather round her to give comfort.

12 years later…

A tall heavily set male figure appears on the horizon, this desert is inaccessible to all but the hardiest horserider yet this figure strides on as though walking across soft grassy plains, the heat has not buckled him, nor has the insatiable thirst killed him, he walks slowly yet purposefully towards the village some 5 miles in the distance. Zooming in closer we see the boy is wearing a colourful mask, of the kind favoured by luchadores. A blue background with two headed birds emblazoned in red with gold trim. As he strides closer the crowd gather, generations of famillies stand with baited breath ready to meet this visitor with apprehension and admiration for no other has ever crossed the desert and come to their village on foot.

Walking silently past the gathered crowd he walks directly up to a woman who is shaking and tears are filling her eyes. He reaches out one hand as she flinches, placing it on her shoulder he says “Mother I am your son, but I no longer have the face you gave me. This mask is my face, and my name is Dos Caras”. The woman cries out incoherently and raises her hands to the sky in praise.

Download A Small Selection of Gash Import – Luchador Noise BLAST DUO with A PAST Shrouded In MYSTERY!!!

Screaming Tempest (mp3)

Acid Soldiers (mp3)

The Chinese VS The Chinese (SuperTurboGash REMIX) (mp3)

www.myspace.com/gashimport

Meet The Dirt

Posted in Bootlegs / Free Downloads, The Dirt on April 10, 2009 by SMW

Photo by Garry MacLennan

The Dirt, photographed by Garry MacLennan

Everybody loves The Dirt. But how much do we really know about them? In advance of next Friday’s Mutant Music at The Flying Duck (17/04/09) where they will be performing alongside Das Filth and The Cadillac Coffins, we offer to you a glimpse into the mouth of madness in the form of a short Q & A session (with apologies for the quality of questions). Also, The Dirt send you an exclusive free download of the original demo for their song…

Glue (mp3).

OK. Steady yourself for revelations:

How do you describe what you do to strangers?

Graeme: Country

Jen: Graeme does all the talking

How long have you been making music, individually?

G: When I was about four I stood on a chair in a hotel and sang the theme song for ‘Calum’s Ceilidh’, a popular TV show of the time.

J: When I was three someone stuck me on a bar and made me sing Good Ship Lollipop

How did the two of you meet and how did The Dirt get started?

We were raised by the same pack of wolves.

Why no drums or bass?

We’re minimalists. We never want to add anything unless it’s really enhancing the song. If you have more people in the band they probably want to be doing something all the time. But I think we could benefit from a bit of drumming. Ideally we’d have a third person to play the drums, piano, accordion, banjo or whatever takes our fancy, but we haven’t found them yet. Don’t think we’d ever have a bass player. From a practical point of view, there’s a lot to be said for being able to turn up at gigs with one guitar and bagful of harmonicas and tambourines.

What inspires you, musically and lyrically?

Musically, rhythms like bum-chick or bum-bum-chick or bum-chick-chick, or a nice chord sequence. Lyric-wise, a good word or phrase gets me started. I write little notes to myself when I’m out because I’m so forgetful.

What is your song-writing process?

Some are done in half an hour, others gestate for years. I think for the time you’re writing the song you’ve got to believe it’s the best song you’ve ever written, even if in the cold light of morning you realise it’s shite.

What song(s) of yours are you most satisfied and why?

Bury Me Tomorrow, Peter Thomas Anthony Manuel, Flowers, I Saw You. I don’t think there’s anything glaringly wrong with them.

Who would be your ideal collaborator(s) (living)

G: Mark Linkous of Sparklehorse.

J: Nick Cave

Who would be your ideal collaborator(s) (dead)

G: Got to be Johnny Cash

J: Shirley Temple

Who would you most like to cover your songs?

G: Nick Cave. Or the Bad Bad Men

J: Leona Lewis

What does the future hold for The Dirt?

Play more gigs outside Glasgow and do some more recording.

There is a zombie apocalypse and you have to choose five things to take into the bunker to rebuild human culture – what do you take?

G: A guitar, a good supply of Guinness, pens, paper and a toothbrush.

J: Tobacco, liquorice papers, extra-slim filter tips, a lighter and a bottle of Queen Margot from Lidl.

More of The Dirt at www.myspace.com/thedirtmusic

The Dirt play live at Mutant Music at The Flying Duck, Friday 17/04/09, 7pm – 11pm, £4 on the door.

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